HEARD ON THE HARDWOOD     “All the gossip that’s fit to print” RECAP OF WEEK 2&3 GAMES IT’S ON!!!  FULL STEAM AHEAD!!! The Blue Skywalkers, led by Billy 'Crazy Legs' Collins have taken sole possession of first place with 3 wins.  Sadly, the team is  planning an intervention for McGack before the next game. Kelly's Green Heroes behind the shooting of perennial scoring king, John 'Cool Whip' Ronayne follows.  Ronayne has the distinction of being the first player to go directly from High School to the Graybeards.  Navy Seals, still reeling from the loss of 'Hispanic Player of the Year' Jesus Lineras also have 2 wins.  Newcomer Eric ‘E-HOUSE’ McManus had the opportunity of being carried off the court on his teammates’ shoulders, but fortunately for his teammates he missed both foul shots, leaving his teammates greatly relieved! RedRum behind BB Murph and Last round out the 2 win squads.  Haven't seen such a dynamic duo since Stan and Ollie! Gray is last.  'Nough said. In the Legends a movement is afoot to breakup the duo of Leary and Boyle.  Most feel that by putting them together with the hardnosed Stathis’ it puts everyone in an insurmountable position.  IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!! The Graybeards league has always adhered to the strict policy of wearing the SFDS Summer Classic shorts with their uniform t-shirt.  Unfortunately, this rule has not been enforced, but that’s going to change TONIGHT!!!  Effective immediately, no summer classic shorts – you don’t play! NOTE:  if you have a SIZE problem, you must get permission from LMac the Exulted One & Only in order to play. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!! Another tradition in the Graybeards league is that everyone makes the playoffs.  Well, the secret committee agrees and the playoff schedule has been modified.  EVERYONE makes the playoffs! More to come on the schedule adjustments needed, but it’s going to happen!!! The opening night after party at Jamesons was a huge success with 83% of the players attending.  While some stayed longer than others, a tip of the hat goes to all those who showed up.  As for the rest of you 17%.  You are officially being reminded SOCIALIZING IS MANDATORY!!! Upcoming chances to redeem yourselves! PARTY TONIGHT @ ROGERS & MAY 28th @ THE BHYC MOVEMENT / INJURIES Marshall Trusttum is out for the season.  Franchock moved to Gray Ghosts.  Coming out of a lengthy retirement, Billy Howley aka “Pickles” joins the league on Gang Green.  Whipper missed one game with a sore back, Coach Cashen has been placed on injured reserve pending the outcome of his knee x-ray.  HERE WE GO!!  IT’S 2 WEEKS WORTH OF YOUR FAVORITE HOTH! Hey Jim, you wearing spanks?  Kevin Breen after seeing the newly slimmed down Jim Moriarty walk into the gym looking F A B U L O U S!!!! THIS NEXT ONE DESERVES CAPITAL LETTERING!!  YOU DON’T HAVE TO OWE A CASE TO BRING A CASE!!!!  JoJo O’Grady $30 YIKES!!  But I don’t drink!  Well at least I try not to, but it’s a constant struggle. from the mouth of Joe “BIG HEAD” “THE HUMAN SPRINKLER” Kenel. That’s BB Murphy?  Can’t be, that guy has hair!   Anonymous voice in the crowd Moriarty lost three inches on his waist AND three inches on his jump shot.  Bugsy Yeah, now he needs to hit the weight room and workout at little – Billy Gallagher after hearing Bugsy’s comment. OB picks up his second foul at 18:30 of the first half prompting Pete Brady to say:  He’s just wants to get to the bar early. E House???   He should be called E McMansion!  Name withheld for obvious reasons Pound for pound the 2 toughest guys in the league are Bugsy & Kevin Ward - Leaper Terence goes 1 for 7 from the foul line prompting the following comment “Those brothers used to be the best free throw shooters ever, what the f#@k?” E McMansion Great no-look pass Hurley.  Next time you should look!  Player on the opposing team Dr. J’s got nothing on Dr. Larry – spectator after seeing Lmac can 5 in a row! Hey Poppa, next time warm up at the dark end so we have the lighted end of the court for the second half.  K. Boyle It doesn’t matter to me Kevin, the way I see, I’m always shooting in the dark. Poppa P.S. – Boyle scores ZERO, ZIP, NADA in the first half at the lighted end of the court. Second half, in the dark end – he hits not 1, not 2, not 3,4,5 or 6, but 7 threes. Mmm? Hey you know you really have to be careful what you say around Boyle and Larry.  They print the Heard on the Hardwood. John Mullally to Jeff Mercer & ME  LOL Since most of the cases are coming from the Young Guns, I have a question. Are the Legend players allowed to drink beer brought in by Young Guns?  Leaper Answer:  YES! – Poppa Lets run these guys into the ground!  BIG Kevin Breen walking on the court to start the second half.  He must have felt he looked slimmer in his new XXL t-shirt.  NOT!! NEWSFLASH!!!!!   Jesus Lineras is looking for a driver to bring him to his games and drive him to the after parties.  Seems he saw our Exulted One arriving by limo so he went out and bought a ’57 CHEVY so he can arrive “Cuban” style.   Nice glass!  Shouldn’t you be holding it by the stem? GRAYBEARD BEER FUND Things slowed down a lot this week! PLAYER        INFRACTION            CONTRIBUTION        PAID OAKIE                   not 1, not 2, but 3 airballs    3 cases of beer            YES OB            Technical Foul            $20                    YES Mr. G        Technical Foul            $20                    YES Leaper        Airball                1 case of beer            YES Mullin        Technical Foul            $20                    YES LHG            Technical Foul            $20                    YES K. Ward        Airball                 1 case of beer            NO McCann        Airball                1 case of beer            YES Weber        Airball                1 case of beer            YES McCool        Technical Foul            $20                    NO All contributions are greatly appreciated! And remember it’s NICE TO BRING ICE! SOCIALIZING IS MANDATORY!!! AFTER PARTY TONIGHT!!! @ ROGERS HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT PRINTED OR SOMETHING YOU OVER HEARD, WHICH SHOULD BE SHARED? COME TO POPPA AND TELL ALL! All contents have been approved by the secret committee.