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Graybeards: Overheard on the Hardwood
HEARD ON THE HARDWOOD
“All the gossip that’s fit to print”
Eddie 'Droopy-Dog" Murray thought there may have been something wrong with Jaime's beers so he went ahead and drank 19 of them. He did awaken the next day with nausea and a slight headache confirming his suspicions!
Oft-injured Kevin "MILF-Bait" McGack had to leave the game halfway into the 2nd period after experiencing some 'stiffness' in his gym shorts.
Laura & Oakie O'Connor celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary (with no kids) in Aruba last week. Oakie cut the vacation short to participate in his Graybeard game on Thurs. He blamed his 2pt performance on a low testosterone level.
For fear our referees would not get by the Breezy Point checkpoint to officiate the games. They were escorted to the "underground railroad" from the Surf Club to the St. Thomas More basement. Their exit also went smooth.
Jamie Agoglia will now go by the name "Old-golia" after dumping off a half a cooler of skunk beer. His gesture was first thought of as generous ... the Graybeard Beer Tasting Committee will now only accept cash or gift card in lieu of beer from Mr. Old-goglia. Photographic evidence was too overwhelming to support his defense.
What do you get when Robbie O and McCann are about to collide just before an offensive charge along the sideline at St. Thomas Shoebox gym? Answer: Panic in the front row ... just ask Kevin Judge & Kevin Breen. Robbie O pulled up and everyone survived.
The Commish has ordered a 'Taser' gun for any Graybeard who steps on the court during a game.
Rookie players will no longer be required to answer the question 'Is your mother a prostitute' during their initiation interview.
Graybeards? You should be called the CRYbeards. Words he'll regret from the mouth of Kenny Whelan, the ref who never made a call he didn't like!
Word on the street is Kenny was pretty loose-lipped Saturday night at the Bungalow Bar. Naming his list of Crybeards to anyone who'd listen.
Did you feel the earth shake Sunday morning? That's when Billy Collins said he thought the secret committee did a good job making roster changes.
Well you can't call him Jumpin' Joe Kenel anymore, since the day after a run at the smallest court on earth PS114, he announced his retirement.
The benefit of Joe's retirement is there will be 2 gallons of sweat missing from the court, which is what he usually leaves on the court when playing. And that's when he only played about 10 minutes a game.
Another player out for this season is Jamie Agoglia, but unlike Joe Kenel he did it with class as he dropped off two 30 packs at the commish's house to bring to the games tonight. Nice!!!! I hope this is the start of a trend. Not that I want to see guys get injured or leave, but hey 60 beers is 60 beers!!! Thank you Jamie!!
McGack screamed "WHAT???" when told he was traded, but after being told it's because his new team needed a player who could jump, shoot, handle the ball, play defense and so on and so on, he was humbled and agreed it was a good trade.
Yea, I heard Daly was starting a 10 and under league!
By the way Poppa - Spandex is not a good look for you!
Moriarty broke scoring slump with first bucket after 57 minutes of play.
Ball was immediately sent to Sprinfield, MA (Hall of Fame)
Evidently Terence Mullin forgot to contribute to the Referee Benevolent Fund this off-season.
Originally Bobby Bruns was to go to Mullin's team but his bloated contract makes him virtually untradable.
the Graybeards will present a 9 second Kevin Judge career highlight video at halftime thursday
Look for new TV series 'Rockaway Shore' starring Robby 'The Situation' Ostrander and JoJo 'Snooki' O'Grady
2009
RECAP OF WEEK 2&3 GAMES
IT’S ON!!! FULL STEAM AHEAD!!!
The Blue Skywalkers, led by Billy 'Crazy Legs' Collins have taken sole possession of first place with 3 wins. Sadly, the team is planning an intervention for McGack before the next game.
Kelly's Green Heroes behind the shooting of perennial scoring king, John 'Cool Whip' Ronayne follows. Ronayne has the distinction of being the first player to go directly from High School to the Graybeards.
Navy Seals, still reeling from the loss of 'Hispanic Player of the Year' Jesus Lineras also have 2 wins. Newcomer Eric ‘E-HOUSE’ McManus had the opportunity of being carried off the court on his teammates’ shoulders, but fortunately for his teammates he missed both foul shots, leaving his teammates greatly relieved!
RedRum behind BB Murph and Last round out the 2 win squads. Haven't seen such a dynamic duo since Stan and Ollie!
Gray is last. 'Nough said.
In the Legends a movement is afoot to breakup the duo of Leary and Boyle. Most feel that by putting them together with the hardnosed Stathis’ it puts everyone in an insurmountable position.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!
The Graybeards league has always adhered to the strict policy of wearing the SFDS Summer Classic shorts with their uniform t-shirt. Unfortunately, this rule has not been enforced, but that’s going to change TONIGHT!!!
Effective immediately, no summer classic shorts – you don’t play!
NOTE: if you have a SIZE problem, you must get permission from LMac the Exulted One & Only in order to play.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!
Another tradition in the Graybeards league is that everyone makes the playoffs. Well, the secret committee agrees and the playoff schedule has been modified. EVERYONE makes the playoffs!
More to come on the schedule adjustments needed, but it’s going to happen!!!
The opening night after party at Jamesons was a huge success with 83% of the players attending. While some stayed longer than others, a tip of the hat goes to all those who showed up. As for the rest of you 17%. You are officially being reminded
SOCIALIZING IS MANDATORY!!!
Upcoming chances to redeem yourselves!
PARTY TONIGHT @ ROGERS & MAY 28th @ THE BHYC
MOVEMENT / INJURIES
Marshall Trusttum is out for the season. Franchock moved to Gray Ghosts. Coming out of a lengthy retirement, Billy Howley aka “Pickles” joins the league on Gang Green. Whipper missed one game with a sore back, Coach Cashen has been placed on injured reserve pending the outcome of his knee x-ray.
HERE WE GO!! IT’S 2 WEEKS WORTH OF YOUR FAVORITE HOTH!
Hey Jim, you wearing spanks? Kevin Breen after seeing the newly slimmed down Jim Moriarty walk into the gym looking F A B U L O U S!!!!
THIS NEXT ONE DESERVES CAPITAL LETTERING!!
YOU DON’T HAVE TO OWE A CASE TO BRING A CASE!!!! JoJo O’Grady
$30 YIKES!! But I don’t drink! Well at least I try not to, but it’s a constant struggle.
from the mouth of Joe “BIG HEAD” “THE HUMAN SPRINKLER” Kenel.
That’s BB Murphy? Can’t be, that guy has hair! Anonymous voice in the crowd
Moriarty lost three inches on his waist AND three inches on his jump shot. Bugsy
Yeah, now he needs to hit the weight room and workout at little – Billy Gallagher after hearing Bugsy’s comment.
OB picks up his second foul at 18:30 of the first half prompting Pete Brady to say: He’s just wants to get to the bar early.
E House??? He should be called E McMansion! Name withheld for obvious reasons
Pound for pound the 2 toughest guys in the league are Bugsy & Kevin Ward - Leaper
Terence goes 1 for 7 from the foul line prompting the following comment “Those brothers used to be the best free throw shooters ever, what the f#@k?” E McMansion
Great no-look pass Hurley. Next time you should look! Player on the opposing team
Dr. J’s got nothing on Dr. Larry – spectator after seeing Lmac can 5 in a row!
Hey Poppa, next time warm up at the dark end so we have the lighted end of the court for the second half. K. Boyle
It doesn’t matter to me Kevin, the way I see, I’m always shooting in the dark. Poppa
P.S. – Boyle scores ZERO, ZIP, NADA in the first half at the lighted end of the court.
Second half, in the dark end – he hits not 1, not 2, not 3,4,5 or 6, but 7 threes. Mmm?
Hey you know you really have to be careful what you say around Boyle and Larry. They print the Heard on the Hardwood. John Mullally to Jeff Mercer & ME LOL
Since most of the cases are coming from the Young Guns, I have a question.
Are the Legend players allowed to drink beer brought in by Young Guns? Leaper
Answer: YES! – Poppa
Lets run these guys into the ground! BIG Kevin Breen walking on the court to start the second half. He must have felt he looked slimmer in his new XXL t-shirt. NOT!!
NEWSFLASH!!!!! Jesus Lineras is looking for a driver to bring him to his games and drive him to the after parties. Seems he saw our Exulted One arriving by limo so he went out and bought a ’57 CHEVY so he can arrive “Cuban” style.
Nice glass! Shouldn’t you be holding it by the stem?
GRAYBEARD BEER FUND
Things slowed down a lot this week!
PLAYER INFRACTION CONTRIBUTION PAID
OAKIE not 1, not 2, but 3 airballs 3 cases of beer YES
OB Technical Foul $20 YES
Mr. G Technical Foul $20 YES
Leaper Airball 1 case of beer YES
Mullin Technical Foul $20 YES
LHG Technical Foul $20 YES
K. Ward Airball 1 case of beer NO
McCann Airball 1 case of beer YES
Weber Airball 1 case of beer YES
McCool Technical Foul $20 NO
All contributions are greatly appreciated!
And remember it’s NICE TO BRING ICE!
SOCIALIZING IS MANDATORY!!!
AFTER PARTY TONIGHT!!! @ ROGERS
HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT PRINTED OR SOMETHING YOU OVER HEARD, WHICH SHOULD BE SHARED? COME TO POPPA AND TELL ALL!
All contents have been approved by the secret committee.
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